So I love my husband, but god he pisses me off sometimes. I am up late, kind of to spite him yes, but I fell asleep putting Ashley to bed and woke up at 11 when he came up with Ryan to go to bed. I HATE waking up in the morning to a messy house and sure enough, when I went down to check, he hadn't lifted a finger even tho Ryan was in his swing the entire time. He didn't even pick up the LR which is all I usually ask/expect. Dinner was still out and wasted and I had to throw it out. I didn't have a chance to do it before Ashley's bedtime because he was up here on the computer for an hour after dinner and I was juggling both kids alone, like I do all damn day.

I'm so irritated about him not wanting to leave Ashley with his Mom on a weekend like we just had. Things would have been sooooo much easier for everyone, esp. Ashley. I don't blame her for acting up, what 2 year old wants to drive all day then shop for hours, then drive some more, and sleep in a strange place? I had to beg him, literally beg, to get him to agree that sometime in the future we could leave her with his mom for the day when we go to Eugene again. He says that this is our family and we have to deal. Yes. Ohmygod. Does he think I don't KNOW that?? But does he even GET that I don't get to leave all damn day, I am literally with her 24/7. I need a break. If I do get to get away, I bring Ryan with me. Which is fine, but come on, just once in a while, I need to miss her and she needs to miss us.

Just once, I want him to pick up the slack when I can't/don't do the housework. Oh he's understanding when I'm sick or something, yeah, honey don't worry about it, but he sure as hell can't DO IT so I dont have to do three times as much when I get back on track. *I* have to do the work AND care for the kids AT THE SAME TIME, bu I'm not even expecting that! Just when the kids are asleep and he's had literally HOURS of doing nothing do I expect him to clean up his own damn house. Too much to expect that he could do both like I have to every day of my life. Weekends should be 50/50, but somehow, he never actually does that, and if he DOES vacuum or pick up, BOY do I hear about how great he is and he does so damn much. I should never complain, I have it so good. Ummm, don't I say that every single day?? Does HE EVER say that??? no. It takes a fight, or something for him to admit anything nice about me. Certainly, lets not volunteer a nice comment or observation, lets meake her pry it out of me so that she wonders if its real or not, just something to pacify her and make her shut up.

and of course, he wants sex. what a joke. If I wasn't purposely keeping it from him before, i might start wanting to sometimes. doing housework is not making me in the mood, but if he EVER did it and din't have an attitude about it, that would be sexy. whatever, I couldn't be less turned on and I dont care. what a baby